Sunday, April 8, 2012

Chivalry isn't dead....and, I like it!

Chivalry is the traditional code of conduct associated with medieval knighthood.  Over time its meaning has been refined to emphasize ideals such as, knightly virtues, honor and courtly love, and less about.....back up....courtly, that's the definition I'm looking for....Being a gentleman never goes out of style.  Now, you can’t fault a guy for abstaining from chivalry altogether. This stuff is confusing.  IKES!  These days, a lot of men, perhaps even you, fall short.  However, if you make chivalry a part of your life, good things will surely follow.  

  1. Open the door for her.  Even the car door; sure she can open her own door once you hit the clicker, but I guarantee she'll notice when you open the car door for her. 
  2. I'm on the fence about the next one.  Pull the chair out for her (not from under her) when you take her out to dinner.  Gently push in the chair so that she can sit down.  Don't shove the chair in, unless she's in need of the Heimlich maneuver. :-)  This will likely cause a strike against you.  
  3. Another one I struggle with.  Help her to put her coat on and off, ONLY if she's struggling with it.  Otherwise you risk coming off as "creepy dude".
  4. Stand when she does.  If she rises to go to the restroom, etc. stand until she departs.  As soon as she returns stand again.  She might not notice if you don't do it.  She'll definitely notice if you do.
  5. Be sure to feed her.  Even if our time together doesn't include food.  Bring her a snack.   :-)   Ladies, stop fooling the gents that all you eat is a salad.   Once you get him home, he'll be shocked to see you pick up the fridge and shake the contents into your open mouth!   
  6. Take an interest in her safety.  (Don't creep her out by following her home.)  Sure she can get home on her own, but if you call or text her, your likely to get noticed.  If you have a car, at least offer to pick her up.  Don't take offense if she turns you down.   Always offer to walk, take a cab, or drive her home.  (If she let's you escort her home, walk her to the door.  But don't show any expectation of being invited in.)  You might get some browney points if you go to her neighborhood for the second or third date. 
  7. Make her laugh...if she snorts, all the better!  {:8)
  8. If you are having a good time, ask her out before the end of the night.  Honestly, why play games, you aren't getting any younger!
  9. Speaking of dates.  Plan the first date.  Have a plan and a back up plan.  
  10. Pay attention to what she's told you and try to take her in that direction.  If you know she loves flowers, the botanical gardens would be a great place to take her on a first date.
  11. Listen as much as you speak.  It'll make for a nice date....even if there isn't a spark.
  12. Put an arm around her or offering your coat if it's cold.  This is a natural way to touch her and you won't come across as "creepy dude". 
  13. Watch her purse.  No you don't have to carry it while you walk through the mall.  But, don't freak out if she runs to the restroom and asks you to watch it.  
  14. Letting her order first is cool.  Ordering for her, puts you in the category of "creepy dude"!
  15. It's cool to offer her a bite of you food.  If you try to feed her the bite...."creepy dude"!
  16. Offer to carry her packages.  She'll notice if you let her do the heavy lifting.
  17. Walk on the outside, closest to the street, as high heels tend to get stuck in grates.
    Also,  she won’t risk being splashed by puddles as cars drive by and it removes her from the dangers of traffic. 
  18. If it's raining hold the umbrella and/or go get the car, so she doesn't have to get wet.
  19. It's really nice for your to pay for the meal.  If she offers to chip in it's not because she doesn't like you, it's because she really wants to pay.  Plus, she likes spending time with you and doesn't want you to think she's taking advantage of getting a free meal.         Ladies if you don't really want to pay.  Don't offer to, it's disingenuous and sets your relationship on a dishonest course.
  20. .....let's get back to this one.....

If you're not generally attentive, she's going to think somethings up.  Review the above and do only what you are comfortable doing and what comes naturally.  They are some good tips to earn major points with your lady friend and it's all pretty simple to do.  
So you might be wondering what triggered this post.  #20 did.

   20.  Quite often my shoelaces become untied (like a 10 year old boy) and people are constantly pointing it out to me.  On one recent untying, a gentleman friend simply knelt and tied my lace.  Now that might not seem very chivalrous, but it was honest, natural and frankly I liked it!

Until next time, when we can chit-chat again! 


MrsSmeej said...

It's nice to know that chivalry's alive and well today...
When it comes to 19 though, and offering to pay;
Make sure that you first refuse the offer once before
Letting her contribute if you ever hope to score.

TTimeChitChat said...

Love your take on #19. Thanks for reading and commenting!