Now I could write something mushy about how you should love the one your with. Or, I could write something cynical, like the story of St. Valentine shedding his blood for love. However, I won't go there...umm...well, I won't go there in detail! Instead I thought I'd share some rituals new and old.
Armpit apples: Ladies, is the flirting and small talk getting your crush to notice you? If not, try this old school, I mean 1700's (Victorian) old school, ritual. Before you go to the ball...errr...I mean dance...I mean club, stick an apple or apple slices under your armpit. At the end of the night, give it to your favorite guy. If he likes you, apparently he'll take a bite of your sweaty armpit apple. (Apparently this ritual may still be alive and well in rural Australia.) Personally, I'd be a little weary of this one. The guy could just be a freak! Maybe it's just pheromones, but your safest bet is to stick with serving up chocolates from a box.
Bundling: Once a common practice, males and females would spend the night together, in the same bed....but, tightly wrapped in separate blankets, with a "bundling board" between them. Honestly, would this practice work now? I think NOT!
Dance Cards: Apparently the Victorians also enjoyed dance cards. Yes ladies, you'd always have someone to dance with at the club. Gentlemen would sign dance card in order to take a spin around the floor. It was considered poor form to have an available line on your dance card. Equally, it was poor form not to dance with everyone who signed your card! In other words ladies, you can't say no if your asked to dance!
Gloves: So in old world England, men would send gloves to their crush. If she was interested she'd wear them. This ritual seems really sweet, but I still don't think it would work in modern times.
Men were also required to wear gloves when courting. Typically a courting visit didn't last longer than half-hour and the gloves always stayed on. Oh to be forbidden from touching! Actually, ice-skating and roller-skating became wildly popular because it was socially acceptable to touch while participating in these activities.
Visiting Girls: This chinese (Dai) ritual entails women sitting around a bonfire, men wearing blankets and playing instruments. Each musician selects a woman to serenade. If she likes him, she pulls a stool from under her skirt for him to sit on. The man, in turn, wraps his blanket around her and they do what people in love do....get your mind out of the gutter...they whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears.
Dating: He's willing to take you out in the day time...where people can see you. If he only wants to see you at his house or yours....it's a "booty" call!
Laughter: If he laughs at your jokes, even if they are not funny. He's in it to win it.
Online dating: This one is self explanatory!
Text: If he's interested he'll text/email you between lunch and dinner. Anything later than that is a "booty" call!
As a side note, say it with music: You might make your intended a CD with a list of favorite songs, which express your intensions. Be carful with your song selection. Depending on the stage of your relationship you might select: (“So Into You” Fabolous; “Tell Me What We’re Gonna Do Now” Joss Stone; “Lost Without U” Robin Thicke;“Let’s Get It On” Marvin Gaye; “L-O-V-E” Joss Stone; "Lucky” Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat; “Make You Feel My Love” Adele; “Sunday Morning” Maroon 5; “Wonderful Tonight” Eric Clapton;“Marry Me” Train)....Again warning, if you put this list of songs on a CD, you better be ready to commit!
So if your brave enough to do it, on Feburary 14th, let your secret crush know your in tune with them, or at the very least you'll want to offer them your armpit apple, to see if they bite!
If your single, enjoy it! Just think, you've saved yourself from creepy cupid. You've saved yourself from the hassle of shopping for chocolates, flowers, champaign, lingerie, mylar balloons, mushy cards, candlelit dinners, overstuffed teddy bears, over priced jewelry.....I rattle that off as if it matters.
Let's face it, there's really nothing wrong with spending the night with someone you really love, YOU!!!
Until next time, when we can chit-chat again!