Wednesday, January 7, 2009

For those of us who haven't done it yet...why get married?

Recently, I've had a lot of married friends saying this or that about their ungrateful, overbearing, lack of caring significant others.  Now I'm at an age when most of my friends that got married in their 20's have pre-teens and/or some are getting re-married and doing the family thing.  

For me due to choice and through life's circumstances....I'm "Free, Single and Disengaged".  Some of my friends swear by the sanctity of marriage, while others tell me how lucky I am and that I should stay that way. The truth is that sometimes when I go for a visit, irregardless of financial or social status,  I hear them bickering about who forgot to turn on the alarm, who didn't do the dishes the "right way", how he bought the new 50" HD-TV instead of the stove "WE REALLY NEEDED".  

They argue with the kids about playing nice even though the neighbor kid took the last pair of Barbie's shoes out of the toy box.  I say,  "OH come on kid why are you bitching that Ken has no pants, just put one of Barbie's skirts on him and move on." One of my friends has 4 kids ages 8-18 and the 8 year old called her at work to tell her that it just wasn't fare that the 18 year old and 15 year old had coco-puffs and she didn't.   I'm like, "ARE YOU NUTS? Are you seriously having that conversation?".   If I were the parent I'd say, "At least you have food...figure it out, and if you call me again I'm buying MUSILEX". O.K. maybe I wouldn't say these things, but it's obvious that I'd think it.    

On the other hand, I was recently with my God-Daughter in church and she just casually laid her head on my lap.  I was thrown back at first, then I got this warm and fuzzy feeling...I kind of liked it.   Of course, that quickly faded when I went to a mall and saw one of those bay-bayyyy kids screaming at the top of their lungs. 

I'm at that age when the older people in the family will say things like, "You know I'm longing to go to a good wedding. You're next, right?!"  Then they nudge you with the elbow.  At that I always answer with a line from my favorite joke.  I chuckle, nudge them back and say, "Not until I attend a good funeral."  Can you guess the next line? Yep you got it.  "You're next, right!?"Now that may seem awfully rude, but so is statement that they put out.  (AND, it usually shuts them up, for good.)

Oh, our well meaning married friends, please stop with the suggestions that we get on, eHarmony or some such site because you know "X#" of people who have met their spouses there.  Stop reminding us that there is no shame in visiting one of these sites "REALLY NOT NECESSARY"!  

The truth of the matter is that the unmarried do understand that you aren't really arguing that the toilet paper was put on backward or that the cap was left off the toothpaste yet again...It's really about the stresses of everyday living.  Just remember, we have no-one to call when we get into the shower and forget to get a towel; no-one to blame when we are sitting on the pot, with an empty toilet paper roll...and we know it!

Single people have been single longer than you and there's a reason for it.  Somewhere deep in the unconscious, we just aren't ready to cross the threshold.  If you really loved us, you'd respect our circumstance as much as we respect your choice to enter the commitment of marriage and family. 

Oh and by the way, while I'm still ranting, I really am listening when you are bitching about your hubby or wifey, so why on earth are you opening up the door and inviting me into HELLl? ;-)

Until next time, when we can chit-chat again!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh come on T you know you want to do it.